I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
Randomize
