I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
Randomize
