My room smells like vodka and shame
quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
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