When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
Randomize
