im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
