If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
Randomize
