I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Randomize