i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
Randomize
