whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
Randomize
