I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
