Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
ttyl tear gas
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
