Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
I only kidnapped one of them. chill
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
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