ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
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