I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
You work out of a Hotel?
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
Randomize
