Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
Randomize
