So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
Randomize
