It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
I just forgot I was standing up.
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
Randomize
