highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
i think i have herpe
just one?
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
In other news, I just burned my penis
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
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