Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
Ketchup is God's man juice
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
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