I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
Randomize
