Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
Randomize
