the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
then my best friend's brother, boyfriend, and future bro in law showed up at the bar. they asked who i was there with. didn't know if "a 40 year old man" or "my 5th grade teacher" was better answer.
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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