brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
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