Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
