Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
Randomize
