I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
Randomize