I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
