OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
NoShamevember. You game?
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
Randomize
