morning after pill = breakfast in bed
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
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