i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
Randomize
