Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
Randomize
