"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
Randomize
