Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Randomize
