hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
omg this kid i'm babysitting is making a penis out of playdough ahhhh.
He just rolled me a 'baby penis' as opposed to his 'big boy' penis that he crafted...he just demanded that I roll him a penis.
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
Randomize
