And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
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