I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
My dad just said "fuck circus"
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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