omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
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