Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
