You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
Randomize
