The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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