Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
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