so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
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