why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
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