well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
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