he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
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