your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
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