you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
where am i from again
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
Randomize
