Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize