apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
Randomize
