i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
Randomize
