Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
Woke up in a pool of alcohol sweat. Probably could wring out my sheets and make a decent cocktail.
I feel like one of those toads that you lick to get high or find a prince.... cept when you lick me you find a drunk whore.
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize
