dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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