coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
Randomize
