I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
Why is your signature on my underwear?
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
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