Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
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