I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
Randomize
