these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
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