That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
Randomize
