she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
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