I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
Randomize
