Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
It's 6 am and I've spent the last few hours searching for a cork screw or suitable substitute. You had none. Incidentally, I finally opened this bottle of wine, but owe you a new meat sticky thing with those two prongs. Sobriety is not good for me. Or your utensils.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
I think a kid would responsible me up
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize
