I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
Randomize