So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
