we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
Flying into Chicago for a few days, getting re-deployed in September, we should probably fuck
Kristina got the same text from you just now, she's sitting next to me, how many people did you send this to?
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
He felt like a one man threesome
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
Randomize
