my phone is set on vibrate and its tucked up in my left front pocket. call me back 20 times real quick.
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
Randomize
