too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
I miss vodka workout Fridays
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
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