the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
