I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
Randomize
