Reggie can tackle my bush.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
